He Came Down

I'm not sure why but I feel its time.
It's time to tell my story.
I'll be honest right up front. It isn't pretty and it may get long, but I want you to understand one thing:

God still works miracles.

I remember clearly the day I died. Okay, I didn't literally die, but it sure felt like it. I guess to understand what I'm talking about, we'd have to go back further.

About 6 years ago, I walked away from God. And He let me go. Just like in the story of the prodigal son, He didn't argue but simply said, "I'm letting you go."

My wife and I had been the youth pastors at our church for almost three years. During that time, God dis some amazing things in my life. You'd think, that after the experiences I had, I'd never walk away from Him. I thought so too.

I remember being so sold out to living a life for the Father. I wanted so much to become a pastor and teach people about this great God I knew. We didn't have much and I knew we wouldn't have a lot as we began to minister. It was my sincere prayer to God one day. I prayed, "God, I would suffer poverty if I could just serve You."

Little did I know that a trial was coming that I would fail. Had I known what was about to happen, I wouldn't have made such a rash prayer.

We came upon some hard financial times. The details aren't important. What is important to note is that I began to get distracted by 'the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches.' (Matthew 13:22)

I was a department manager for Mervyn's and I started to work my butt off for a promotion. Well, a year later, I got it. And started to lose everything I once held dear. I thought that now that I had enough money, things would be better.

But the more I had, the more stingy I became.
Enough soon became not enough.

You'd think that Mervyn's going out of business one month after my promotion would have been enough to get my head straight again. I'll be honest, I considered changing careers than and getting back to what God wanted. But the cares of this world already had a choke hold on me.

Don't get me wrong. It is honorable to want to provide for your family. But not at the expense of your relationship with God.

I took a position as an assistant manager for Kohls. but, like I said, enough was no longer enough. Once again, I began to work my butt off for a promotion.

It only took a year and a half before I was being considered for a promotion to a store manager.

But it was all wrong...

That's when everything inside me died.
It was 3 years ago in July. I remember that day clearly. I pulled into the store parking lot to start another long overnight shift. It had been raining.

I parked my van and looked out the window. I saw a rainbow in the sky and, at that moment, I felt my heart die. The only way I can describe it is that my life fogged up and I simply didn't care about anything anymore. ANYTHING.

Remember that rainbow. It's important.

I won't get hung up on dates and timing because I honestly don't remember much of the next six months. I do remember that things seemed to speed up, but slow down at the same time. It was like the big events of life came like waves, but the day to day actions played out in slow motion.

I was geting my 'wish.' An opportunity came up to make a transfer that would be the next step to a promotion. You'd think I'd be excited.

But I felt like my world was spinning out of control and I didn't know what was going on.

The most I remember is that my waking moments became darkness. My successes became utter failures in my mind. My days were long and grueling. I was going to be promoted, but I felt like I was being fired. I would come home and my kids would hug me with so much love. You'd think I'd be proud of that, but I felt like a dead beat dad who didn't give a crap about his kids.

Everything felt so dark and wrong.

I remember asking my boss if I was doing okay. He gave me this crazy confused look. It wasn't like me to be insecure about my performance. I mean, come on, I was heading to a promotion. I just wanted to quit, crawl into a hole, and never wake up.

Don't worry...
It get's worse...

One evening, I was driving to work for another overnight shift. I truly didn't want to go to work. Calling in and quitting would have been just fine.

Okay, remember the rainbow?

It was back...

It had been raining and, driving down the freeway, I saw a rainbow again. For the first time in a long time, I heard the voice of the Father again.

"My promises," He said.

I remembered Noah and the flood and God's promise not to destroy the earth again by flood. At that moment, the song on the Christian radio station, KLOVE, ended. The dj came on and she said, 'If you're going through a hard time, I want to remind you of God's promises. Jeremiah 29:11 says, 'For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope.'

Okay. The only time I tell my kids not to worry, I'm not trying to hurt you, is when they are about to go through some pain caused by my own hand. Like having to clean a bad cut or something. I let them know, 'This might sting. But its for your own good."

That's what God was telling me. He was saying, "Son, you're about to go through some really bad stuff, but you need to know, I'm not trying to purposely hurt you. This is for your own good."

Some weeks went by (I think) and my 'promotion' came. I was to report as the temporary store manager at a store 1 hour away. 100 mile round trip. Yeah, it was a long crappy direve. But it was God's plan.

He was taking away my time...

I reported to work feeling like a failure. All the things I thought I could do blew away with the wind. All the solutions to problems evaded me and I was confused. Then God moved again.

Exactly seven days later, my daughter woke up late at night with severe stomach pains. My wife took her to the emergency room. I became overrun with anxiety. I lost it. After many hours and some tests, they found that my daughter had an appendicitis. No big deal right? Wrong. The anxiety was so bad I felt like my daughter was dying.

The Father was showing me, i could lose my family...

Exactly seven days later, I was in a car accident. It totaled my new car. I only had it for thirty days. That day was horrible. I felt like I was spinning out of control. Lost and confused.

God took away my money...

Four days later (Thanksgiving Day 2010), I lay in bed trying to sleep so I could last the toughest day in retail. But, as I lay there realizing that with my time, my family, and my money gone, all I had left was me.

And I didn't like what was me. In fact, I abhorred who I was.

I was ready to die. Literally.

I won't go into the details, but my thoughts flipped me out so much that I almost called 911. I was so scared. I came this close to pushing a knife into my stomach. Thankfully my wife came home with the kids. I put the knife down. I told her what I almost did. She pulled me out of the kitchen and took me to our bedroom. I lost it. I wept and wept. I was scared but at the same time, I didn't care. My life was over.

My wife got someone to watch the kids while we went to a crisis center. The counselor there recommended going to the hospital.

I talked to another crisis counselor there and he suggested I admit myself to the mental health facility. I was suffering from a major depression.

I admitted myself to the hospital.
I was there for 8 days.
8 days of confusion, yet I began to understand.

I began to understand what was was going on in me. I began to realize the feelings of failure (even though I was succeeding) were a result of depression. And I began to realize that I had been suffering not for months, but years. Over 10 years.

The thing about depression is that it enslaves you. It tricks you and deceives you. Given enough time it makes you believe that it is normal. That life has always been this way. It is a nasty beast. It makes you think you deserve it and it can even make you crave it.

It is confusing.

I spent two months off work, trying to understand my condition. Trying to learn how to manage it. Deep down inside I didn't want to let it kill me. I wanted to live.

But it was a vicious tug of war. One day I felt great and the next I wanted to die. One day I could see the light breaking through the clouds and the next it was utter darkness.

But God wasn't done.

I remember one day. I felt horrible. I had mismanaged my life and my job and things seemed utterly hopeless. I was getting desperate. That knife was looking like a good option again. I was afraid and hurting. I knew deep down, I needed God back. I needed His help. I called a hotline that was supposed to help you find Jesus. I shared my desperation with the man on the line and...

And I got the most pitiful prayer I have ever heard and then a good-bye. I was furious and scared. These people were supposed to help me find God!

So I called a christian radio station to talk to a staff pastor and...

"The pastors aren't in today,' said the woman on the line. "Is this an emergency?"

(yes) No," I said and hung up. I wanted to die. If God had set up these places for people to find help and find Him, then what did this mean.

He didn't want to help. He didn't want me.

"Why don't you want me?!" I cried out. I wept and despaired. God didn't want me.

Then...
A whisper...
Deep inside...

"I do want you. I want you to want Me. You know I can change this. But you are turning to man and not to Me."

Over the next couple of weeks, through my weekly counseling sessions I began to realize my problem. Well, actually, I already knew my problem. I guess, you can say I began to admit my problem.

I think most of us, for the most part, know deep down the problems we have. the thing we lack. The things that keep us from God. And even the fact that He can fix them.

It is foolishness that keeps us away. And it is through foolishness that God saves us.

It is a deeply foolish mystery that the all powerful God of the universe, instead of destroying us for rebellion, would send His own Son to become the very thing He despises. It is foolishness that He would allow His Son, full of His power and goodness, to be nailed to planks of wood and hang until dead just to say, "I love you." FOOLISHNESS

"The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18

See, the cross, Jesus' sacrifice, is complete and utter foolishness. Why turn to a God who would kill His own Son? It doesn't make sense.

"It's because you aren't letting Me save you."

The whisper again. As I sat on my bed next to my wife and read this passage.

"For it is written: 'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent." Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? For since in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe.

"Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

"But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise..."

And then it happened...

I realized my error. That I had walked away from God. I had forsaken His salvation. I became foolish. But God does great things with a man's foolishness.

I didn't cry out for help. I didn't ask for healing. I simply realized my error and wept.

Then...
Light...
Fresh air...
Peace...

It filled the room. Though my eyes were squeezed shut, I could see light. I could feel a presence filling every corner of the room and chasing away every shadow. And with it came peace. A held breath that had seemed stuck in my chest for a decade finally escaped my mouth and I breathed...  LIFE

Genesis 2:7 says, "And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being."

I came alive. I felt the hand of God undoing the depression, anxiety, and despair in my mind. It was like laying in a pool of cool water on a hot day. It was heaven.

My weeping turned to laughter. My darkness turned to light. My lungs were opened. My eyes could see.

"I'm alive." I told my wife as I stood and took a breath. I was back from a long trip away.

God was back.

Years of pressure on my chest from anxiety were stripped away. Knots of depression in my abdomen were loosed. And it seemed like for the first time in my life, I felt joy.

All because God came down and picked me up.

Darkness fled when He came down.
Depression fled when He came down.
Anxiety fled when He came down.

And I...

I bowed down and gave Him everything. I could no longer live life on my own terms. I gave it all to Him because my life is safer in His hands.

My life changed because God came down.

Yours will too, if you ask Him, "Please, come down."

Why I Celebrate Christ, and I Don't 'Do Christmas'

Throughout this time of year I am asked the question: So, are you ready for Christmas?

My response is always the same: I'm always ready for Christmas.

I usually get a strange look and those who know me will add, 'Oh, that's right. You don't do Christmas.'

I am sometimes asked why. I am sometimes asked if I celebrate Christmas. I am not sure my answer is always the best one. It is, after all, difficult to some up my reasons for not 'doing' Christmas to just a few sentences. So here is the long of it.

Christmas.  CHRISTmas. It's about Jesus' birth. Not giving. Not generosity. Not kindness or goodness. Not family or friends. Not parties or presents.

It's about Jesus. His birth. His coming into our world. Contrary to popular belief, Jesus is not the reason for the season. He is the reason for EVERYTHING.

'For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.'  Colossians 1:16-17

Perhaps this is where our misunderstanding of Christmas begins. We misunderstand Christ. We misunderstand His reason for coming.

Jesus said, 'for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.' (Luke 19:30)

Jesus said, 'What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.' (Matthew 17:12-14

Jesus said, 'I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.' (John 10:10)

No wonder the angels burst into song when Jesus was born. Do you understand what had just happened that day? Do you get it? Salvation had come. The way to heaven, the way to restored relationship with God, the end to disease and death, the beginning of new life had come. The angels rejoiced. They began to speak the message.

'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!' (Luke 2:14)

See, God had decided to send His peace to earth. He decided to pour out His goodwill upon mankind. You need to wrap your head around this. It was better than winning the lottery. It was better than receiving a brand new car for free. It was more than a child born in a manger. It was more than a heavenly visitation. It was a heavenly occupation. A heavenly invasion. A heavenly transformation. Brought to earth to deliver us! From sin. From death. From disease. From destruction. The angels sang!

And we give presents? And we eat pie? And we decorate? And we sing songs of the coming of someone who bestows earthly gifts upon us if we were good all year?

Some say that the giving of presents represents God's gift of Jesus to us. Or they say that since Jesus is in heaven, we give gifts in His honor to each other. They give gifts to represent the wise men that gave gifts to Jesus. But is that really the message of Christ? We teach about Santa, who gives gifts to all the good children. Do we realize that the story of Santa is in opposition to the Word of God? 

The message of Christ is not that we get good things if we behave. It is that He came to die BECAUSE WE MISBEHAVE. We curse and we sin and we carry on.... and He loves us anyway.

I believe that Christmas is a reminder that God decided to save me. He, one day, long ago, decided to offer His own Son's life to save me from sin and death. And for that I honor Christ by not giving gifts to others, but by giving my own life to Christ.

'For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.'  (2 Corinthians 5:14-15)

It means so much more to honor God by giving your life to Him. How can we say that we celebrate CHRISTmas when we only give gifts on that one day? How can we say we celebrate CHRISTmas when we seek the 'spirit of giving' only on one day? How can we say we celebrate CHRISTmas when we desire to receive, receive, receive?

So, how do I celebrate Christmas?

I give. My life. Everyday. To Jesus.

Jesus said, 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." (Matthew 16:24)

Christmas is about God giving us the ability to live! It means, that from that day forward, there would be opportunity for you and me to live and have joy and peace. It means that our troubles now have meaning and purpose. It means that God cared. It means that God loves. It means that He didn't want to leave us wandering around in darkness.

So we ought to give our lives every day to Him. Our entire life should be filled with generosity. It should be filled with the sharing of life with others. Real LIFE. The life Jesus bought and paid for. It means that because God paid such a high price for my life, I should not squander it by getting wrapped up in the getting and giving of the riches of this world.

And so I don't give gifts on Christmas. I don't celebrate Santa. I don't desire to receive anything from anyone. 

But I live for Christ.... everyday.
I pray.... everyday.
I give.... everyday.
I praise Him.... everyday.
I worship Him.... everyday.
I thank Him.... everyday.
I seek to please Him and make my life purposeful for Him... everyday.

No, I don't 'do Christmas.' Because Christmas isn't 'done' it's believed in. Its cherished. Its incorporated into every part of your life. It's Christ received into your heart and your life and every fiber of your being. And it is meant to be lived out everyday.

I asked myself a few years ago, when I stopped 'doing' Christmas. 'What would Christmas be like if you didn't get gifts? If you didn't give gifts? If there was no tree or holiday trim?' 

I felt disappointed. Like something would be missing. Like it wouldn't be Christmas. And God spoke to my heart...

'Is that really what you think I meant by sending my Son to you?'

I realized that I had replaced God's heavenly gift with earthly treasure.

That's why I celebrate Christ and I don't 'do Christmas'

The Gift

The gift of God was not a child wrapped in swaddling clothes. That image belittles the work of our Savior.

No, the gift of God was Himself wrapped in human flesh waiting to be torn open to reveal the most precious gift of all, LIFE.

It's not a pretty picture. We like the wrapping paper too much. It's too pretty and perfect. Yet, the gift that is Christ must be torn open. We must accept the tearing if His flesh to find the gift hidden inside. We cannot carefully remove the tape to save the paper. It is seamless. It is perfect. But it must be torn. It won't come off any other way.

To receive the gift of life, we must tear the Lifebringer. And just when we thought we discarded the wrapping, He appears anew. In all His glory to share the life that He paid for. You see, the gift He gives you is meant to be shared with Him. The life He offers belongs to both of you. It's why He came back. For what is life without Him. You think He was torn to give you independence? No my friend, He was torn to give you freedom from sin and life to be shared.

Your gift can be multiplied and given away. Yet, your box will never be empty. He will always replenish the life He paid for. It is a never ending flow. The miracle is that His one life torn apart allows you to give life without being torn apart. He paid the price so you can live and so you can give.

Perhaps it is time to take that gift that has been sitting for far too long. It's perfect paper and beautifully wrapping begs to be torn open to reveal His gift to you.

For by grace you have been saved  through faith, and that not of yourselves;  it is  the gift of God, (Ephesians 2:8 NKJV)

Living Water

Never drink from a stagnant pool. It is a pit of festering sludge that will suck the life and health right out of you. Find a follower who is a stream. Find a follower who is constantly loving, constantly moving, constantly praying. Such a life is pure and sweet. It refreshes your soul and brings life to your body.

It is a life to be imitated. A flowing stream does not heed the rocks in its path. It flows over and around them. Over time it carves the rocks. It smooths them out and even in some instances, it eradicates the barrier and carves a new path.

A stagnant pool offers nothing. It is not refreshing. It is not useful. It stinks and festers and begs to be evaporated. It appears to contain and sustain life within itself. Perhaps a lily pad or two. Perhaps some moss and a home for frogs. But frogs were a curse to the slavers. The green growing inside a stagnant pool is good for nothing.

A stream of living water is surrounded by beauty. Soft earth ready for planting. Green trees and grass and flowers line it's banks, drink deeply, and flourish because of it. See, a stream brings life to everything around it.

Be a stream. Be living water and new life will be commonplace to you. Many will inch their way closer to you because you offer the one thing they need. 


LIFE

"On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, 

'If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.' "     John 7:37-39

Of God and Lawn Care Part I

I've learned a great deal about God from the Bible and many sermons and teachings since I gave my life to Jesus about 13 years ago. I learned even more about the Lord when I became a father.

I have, however, learned a great deal about how to live for the Lord through the very spiritual and profound act of.... mowing the lawn.

Okay. Maybe it's not that profound nor that spiritual, but I've learned a lot nonetheless.

This first articulation of my musings about God and lawn care begins with the simple act of mowing. There is nothing spiritual about it. You pull a cord and if you are fortunate enough, you pull a lever that makes the front wheels turn. Ahh, the joys of self-propulsion.

I learned my first lesson about living a life of obedience to God during a period of time that I had actually walked away from the Lord.

During those few years (years recently passed if you need to know), I particularly developed a deep set aversion to mowing my lawn. I was already putting in 45 - 60 hours a week at work and I sure wasn't all that excited about coming home and mowing the lawn.

Now, it shouldn't have been all that bad. I mean, even though I have a good size yard, I still only needed to mow it about once a week. Simple enough right?

Not really.

I have this notion that God, in all His wisdom and powers as a grower of grass, gave my lawn the ability to grow quite quickly. I mean, sometimes I would have to mow twice a week! How awful!

Okay, I exaggerate. But that's how it felt. The gravity of this dilemma will become clear to you in a moment.

See, God speaks to us often through His work. "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse..." Romans 1:20

And He spoke very clearly to me through the condition of my grass. Oh, yes, the grass. It grew long and thick in some places, thin in others. It had some dry spots and a generous helping of weeds (more on those pesky things in future posts). The thing that really irked me was that when I actually had the time to mow (or rather, made the time to mow) it was always long and wet.

See, I would get home and think, "I need to mow the lawn. But I'm tired. Well, its my day off tomorrow, I'll mow it then."  Good enough plan, right?

It would rain the next day.

Maybe not all the time, but frequently.  I would look at all my neighbor's lawns and sigh. They were so green and always trimmed. It was crazy because I never seemed to see them mow their lawn. They must have special grass that maintains itself. If you know where to get some, please let me know.

I would finally get down to mowing the lawn and have a time of it. Let me tell you, it is no fun mowing through long wet grass even with a self-propelled lawn mower. The grass gets clumped up and slows down the blades causing the engine to quit. The bag quickly gets heavy and has to be emptied at least twice as much. For some strange reason, emptying the clippings into the garbage or a garbage bag is the most hated part of mowing my lawn. Don't ask. I don't know why.

My yard, during a time when I'm keeping up with it, takes about an hour and a half to mow. During those times of neglect, it would take 2 or more hours.  I would get frustrated and berate myself.

"If you would have just mowed it last week, it wouldn't be so bad."

You're right. If you kept up with the lawn, you wouldn't have such a hard time with it. The more you let it grow, the harder it is to cut.


I call this a Samuel moment. A time in your life when you hear the voice of God, but you are unsure if it is someone speaking to you or if you are merely imagining it. Well, I knew in my heart that I wasn't imagining it. God was trying to make a point.

I got the point. And very quickly I might add. See, I wasn't living the life I should. I was letting things in my life grow to a point that it became obvious that I wasn't taking care of myself spiritually. Kinda like the grass growing too long. Are you getting the picture?

Week after week, month after month, year after year, the Lord kept telling me that I needed to let Him take care of some things in my life. Most especially, He was telling me that if I kept letting these things grow and didn't keep them trimmed down or pulled out, I was going to have a rough time when it finally came to a point of reckoning.

It was a loving warning from a loving father. "For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives." Hebrews 12:6

Most people think that God takes some kind of pleasure through disciplining us. They picture Him reigning down fire from heaven or sending a plague. Though He can and has done these things, I believe it is not before He lovingly warns us that destruction is coming.

"The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is long suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance."  2 Peter 3:9

God is patient. He calls out to us to change, to let Him change us. Yet we neglect to come to Him. We neglect our spiritual lives and let the grass and the weeds grow. After my experience with letting things get out of hand, I urge you. Take care of it now. Let God trim your lawn and most importantly, take care of your spiritual life.

It is not pleasant when you have to mow down overgrown grass. It takes much more effort and much more time than simply keeping up with the yard work.

So you may know...

The biggest question we have when we go through hardship is why? Why God? Why did this happen? Why don't you care? Why did you let this happen? Why now?

We've all gone through it and we've all asked the question. Why? Something inside us yearns to know the meaning for our suffering. But why? To make sense of it? To make it easier? But will knowing the answer to the 'why's' of our lives really make it any easier? Will it really make sense to us?

1 Corinthians 1:27 says, 'But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise..'

Perhaps that is why our suffering and the timing of our suffering (as if any suffering is timely) seems so strange to us. It makes no sense for a God who loves us so much to offer His own Son a sacrifice for us only to allow us to suffer in this life. Why not just take away the suffering of this age? Why not end it all now?

'And the Lord said to Moses, ' When you go back to Egypt, see that you do all those wonders before Pharaoh which I have put in your hand. But I will harden his heart, so that he will not let the people go.'
Exodus 4:21

God sent Moses to Pharaoh to request the release of the Hebrew slaves. God not only commanded Moses and assured him that He had come down to deliver His people, but He also assured Moses that He would make it difficult for him to do so.

'... but I will harden his heart, so that he will not let the people go.'

This makes no sense.....  At the moment....

There was a man who was born blind. Destined to a life of misery. Sure, when he was a child, he had his parents to take care of him. But, what about when he came of age? He could not work. How could he live? What is the life of a beggar? Why did God make him that way?

This makes no sense.....  At the moment....

There was a man named Lazarus who became ill. He was a good friend of Jesus. Lazarus' sisters sent for Jesus.

'Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.'  John 11:5-6

During those two days, Lazarus died.

This makes no sense.... At the moment....

All suffering makes no sense at the moment. The pain and sometimes even torment clouds our minds and keeps us from thinking of anything but the pain of the moment. How can what we are going through now have any purpose at all? How can it make any sense?

And then, we find out...

'But I am sure that the king of Egypt will not let you go, no, not even by a mighty hand. So I will stretch out My hand and strike Egypt with all My wonders which I will do in its midst...'
Exodus 3:19-20

'Thus says the Lord: By this you shall know that I am the Lord...'  Exodus 7:17

God began striking Egypt with plagues with a message that said, 'By this you shall know that I am the Lord.'

What seemed to be difficulty in the eyes of the Moses and the Hebrews was a plan in God's eyes. The king of Egypt needed to be shown. The people of the Egypt needed to be shown. The Hebrews needed to be shown.

'Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, saying, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?'
Jesus answered, 'Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.'  John 9:1-3

It was no fault of the man nor his parents that he was born blind. It was so that the people of Jesus' time would know. And so His disciples would know. And so the religious leaders of the time would know.

"Then Jesus said to them plainly, 'Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, that you may believe.'  John 11:14-15

Jesus allowed Lazarus to die so that His disciples would know. So that the world would know.

Perhaps the most confusing suffering of all is the suffering of Christ. Why would He who had all power and authority, He who healed and cast out demons, He who raised the dead, be allowed to suffer and die? Why?

So that you would know.  Know what.

'By this you shall know that I am the Lord.'

Our suffering seems pointless until we know why.  So what is the answer.

So that you will know that He is God.

Clouds in the Sky (or Bring the Rain)

I was walking to work the other day. It was cloudy and was about to rain. I looked up at the clouds. They were those dark gray clouds that seemed just ready to burst. I was tempted to think that it was a gloomy day, but something about those clouds was beautiful.

I thought about this for a moment and realized why it was beautiful.

We too often link rain with sadness and being dreary.  Perhaps it is because we cannot function as we normally do when it rains. Perhaps it is because we think of things we have done wrong and believe that maybe God is crying over our sin. Perhaps its because the warmth of the sun is blocked for a while and things just aren't as bright.

We think of our struggles when it rains. We think of the pains of life and the difficulties we have faced. We think about pain and suffering and wish it would all just go away.

What if we dared to embrace the rain? What if we dare to embrace our suffering?

I realized that a cloud covered rainy day, although not as cheerful as a bright sunny day, can be a day of rejoicing. You see, most things on this earth don't grow unless they are watered.

Did you catch that?  I'll say it again. MOST THINGS DON'T GROW UNLESS THEY ARE WATERED.

It is through some of the dull and rain filled times of our lives that we can grow. The clouds must come and the rain must fall. We must soak up the water to grow. Embrace it as a gift from God. The Apostle Paul knew a great deal about suffering. The early church knew a great deal about suffering. After their first imprisonment and flogging, they rejoiced that they were counted worthy to suffer for the cause of Christ. (Acts 5:40-41). Did you catch that? THEY REJOICED THAT THEY WERE COUNTED WORTHY TO SUFFER.

I think we too often have the wrong view of suffering. Noah was a righteous man and he had to suffer through the flood. He was saved by a cramped boat full of smelly animals. What kind of cruise is that?! Yet, through this hard time, his faith in God was built and became stronger. And afterward...

"I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. It shall be, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow shall be seen in the cloud; and I will remember every living creature of all flesh; the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh." Genesis 9:13-15

Do you realize that you don't always see a rainbow when it rains? Perhaps it is because the rainbow is not a reminder to us, but to God. Not that He would forget, but that He would hold back His wrath upon us and have mercy. See, the bow is a tool of war. God laid down His weapon. He wanted us to have peace with Him. We need to remember that when we go through times of suffering. God wants to give us peace and restoration. He wants us to grow. And to grow, it has to rain.

"For I know the plans I have for you' says the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11